I had a wonderful day out yesterday
with my Aunt Linda (not really my “Aunt” but she grew up with my Dad and we are
Italian, so everyone older gets called “Aunt” or “Uncle” out of respect). We
ran around to this wonderful mixed-use community called the Village of
Gulfstream here in FL and had lunch and shopped the afternoon away – ladies of
leisure! Linda took care of both her parents while raising her children. She
was what is in that “sandwich generation” before that term became fashionable.
She understands about Caregiving, and the highs and lows of it all and I have
learned a lot from her.
I
had an elderly planning attorney to guide me through the paperwork that I call “the
Particulars.” I will save the gory details of all that was involved there for
another day, but one of the things I did was apply for Medicaid for Gramps. It
took two years to get approved for the program we needed which was a community
funded and run program that gives home-health hours. When we finally got
approved, I was elated. It was ten hours per week, Mon-Fri, 5-7 pm. It may not sound like a lot to some,
and believe me, my family was the first to comment, “What is that? Was it even
worth it? Ten hours is nothing!” They never got it. To me, at that time, ten
hours was as good as winning lotto! So we got this wonderful nurse to come in
and I was really nervous because she was appointed by the program and I was
worried it would be someone that Gramps didn’t like. The actual opposite
happened- he loved this woman - as did I! A true earth angel! What a blessing!
Even
though the nurse was there, I found myself still rushing to make sure dinner
ran smooth, and one day, Linda and her husband Greg came by and said, “lets go.”
They were “kidnapping me” to get me out to teach me a lesson that when the
nurse was there, I did not need to be there. I had to let go and trust it would
go well. This lady already proved she was good with Gramps, so I wasn’t sure
why I still felt the need to be on top of it all. This was respite care time
for me.
So off Linda, Greg, and I went on
our adventure and we found this local lady selling biscotti in the oddest
warehouse-type area – very unexpected and fun! Linda shared with me the story
about how, when she was taking care of her parents, my Grandparents would come
by with a pizza and tell her to go do her thing for a few hours because they
were in charge now! She said she never forgot that, as it was such a welcome
break. It meant nothing for them to do it, but it meant everything to her.
Linda says, “See. Everyone gets their turn in the prayer line.” Give prayers
freely, generously, but when it’s your turn, accept prayers graciously.
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