A Caregiver Kickoff Meeting

At work we start projects with a kickoff meeting. We get everyone together, there is usually food involved, and we talk about where we are and the vision for where we are going, and at a high level, who all will be involved. My Dad’s funeral was my kickoff meeting to Caregiving.

                The family was all there, but we never had a formal discussion about who would take care of Gramps, other than I said it made sense for me to help him and that I would take care of him. I don’t think I thought it was a permanent arrangement, and I definitely didn’t think I would be in it alone. Details, details!

                This is another lesson learned and do-over I would take if I could go back in time. I would approach my Caregiver journey more like a work project and get everyone together and have a kickoff meeting to talk about “scope” and the vision for where we were going, how long, and the high level roles and responsibilities of everyone involved.

                You may scoff at this and think, that’s work, this is real life, and real life doesn’t work that way. You are right! That’s the problem! There is no planning! We don’t talk about these details and they get lost in assumptions. There are expectations that are not communicated properly and then there is frustration and negativity when things or people “fall short."

                I am not suggesting sitting the family down with a PowerPoint presentation, and charts, graphs or a project plan! No, no! I am saying however, to give some thought to how the family, your team, is going to move forward to take care of your loved one. Don’t go it alone. Approach it as a shared responsibility that you are all in it together. Talk about it. It isn’t easy. It takes effort. You may say it’s not worth that effort, but how do you know unless you try? You may think you know that no one is going to help and talking about it will only get you frustrated and get you nowhere. That may well be, in terms of people may not be receptive to helping, as I don’t know your family. What I do know is this – you will feel better for putting it on the table. You will have clarity. You will feel better, and really, isn’t that what this is about?  Making sure that you get what you need to be a Caregiver out there and make others aware. I didn’t do all this and believe me, I learned the hard way. At the end of the day, you need to know who is in it with you and who can’t be bothered. You have to put out there you own boundaries and what you are willing and able to do, and what you cannot do. Talk about budget and money, too. It’s important. It isn’t easy, but do it. Schedule a Caregiver kickoff meeting, it isn’t too late.