Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Introduction: The End Marks the Beginning


My introduction to what it means to be a Caregiver started by watching my Dad take on more responsibility for my grandparents. My Grandpa had a stroke and my Grandma’s health was deteriorating. He took over “the pills and bills”. Then my Grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer and died. Hardly any time elapsed between the doctors giving us the dreaded diagnosis, to the next memory of being in the limo on the way to the funeral.  Everyone kept saying it was a blessing that it happened so fast.  I did not know what they were talking about. My father assumed care of my grandfather.  Then the unthinkable happened. 

On August 9, 2007, I arrived at my Dad’s home to see Grandpa in his wheelchair, at the dinner table, and my Dad on the floor turning purple.  A small vial of nitroglycerin was on the table in front of him.  I remember that distinctly.  My Dad’s girlfriend and her daughter arrived on the scene moments before I did and began CPR and called 9-1-1.  I begged God for more time for my Dad.  I begged my Dad to hang on.  I begged the paramedics to keep going, trying compressions, paddles, –anything.  I was so desperate.  My Dad died that day and his death was a horrible shock. Calling to tell people the sad news was surreal. My father died and invariably they’d ask, “You mean your grandfather?”  No. When I look back, things are fuzzy and grey.  I remember it was important to me for Grandpa to stay in familiar surroundings, to feel comfortable, and to let him know he was wanted.  Moving Grandpa to a new home would be too unsettling.  That was as far as I got in the deliberation process when I decided I would take care of Grandpa. 

The day my Dad died, I assumed responsibility for caring for my then 88-year old Grandpa, Philip (I call him “Gramps”).  I did not know the commitment I was making or for how long I would be in this new role, but I do know it was my decision.  A Caregiver was born. 

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