Plan B

           When I became a Caregiver, taking care of Gramps was Plan A and there was no Plan B. No fallback plan. At work, I always have a contingency plan. If the system is down, I go to another system. If one environment isn’t available, I go to another one. If electronic copies aren’t available, I print paper. You get the idea. I build in back-ups so things go smooth. This was not the case when I became a Caregiver. I felt so overwhelmed with Plan A, there was no energy to focus on creating a Plan B. I put all my eggs in one basket, and prayed nothing would crack.

I had my own health issues at this time, all due to stress and anxiety. I remember my two doctors, primary care and gynecologist, were at the same office. One day, they both came in to speak with me about my drastic weight loss, and some lab results that they were sure had to be wrong because my sugar was off the charts, I was dehydrated, electrolytes out of balance and a host of other things that I can’t even recall (probably because I wasn’t comprehending it all at the time). Their concern was that Caregiving was taking a toll on my health and they went so far as to say Gramps would outlive me at this rate. My doctor even suggested that I checkout the home she put her own mom, insisting it was nice and that I should consider it.

                I have nothing against nursing homes or similar facilities, and in fact, I support them as a legitimate option for people who need to make sure their loved one is safe and cared for, and it’s not something the family can provide. Thank God these options exist! However, I never considered it for Gramps. I did start to wonder and worry that if something happened to me, what would happen to Gramps. There are a few points to this story.

                First and foremost, take care of yourself. It’s the same story you hear on airplanes, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on small children and those needing assistance. Something I heard about that I never explored that may make sense for you, is respite care. Some facilities are short term and can give you a much needed break. I would also suggest thinking about designating a backup. After my doctor’s visit, I was scared that something could happen to me. I reached out to my minister and his wife and friends to ask if there is an emergency, could they help with Gramps temporarily, and of course, they said they would (and of course, the emergency never happened!).

Second point, sometimes you’ve got to put your Murphy’s Law thinking cap on and imagine what can go wrong and try to prepare. For example, doctor’s run late. Pack snacks, medications, water bottle, a magazine, whatever you may need. When shopping, stockpile basic supplies because there’s no need to run out of non-perishable items like toilet paper and paper towels. Freeze leftovers for quick dinners and don’t be afraid to stock-up on sale items and freeze them. Also, I always had some cans of chicken soup around just in case dinner turned into a fiasco, soup was a solid Plan B. You’ll come up with your own tips, but really think about your backup plans and how to give yourself options.