I went to the Biltmore in Coral Gables last night and heard E.L. James, the author of “Fifty Shades of Grey" speak. That book has no relevance to Caregiving, (and if you are familiar with the trilogy you now it isnt even close!), but, basically, today I am inspired by all things grey.
When I was a Caregiver, I longed for the simplicity of “black and white.” A trip to the doctor is a great example, of how you want your options laid out in clear cut terms, but the doctor is not prescriptive, and will lay out your options, but ultimately the choice is yours and for decisions, you are on your own. It’s maddening! It’s all for good reason though. Doctors can give you options and tell you the statistics, but there are so many variables that each case is individual. Doctors cannot predict which end of the bell curve you will land. Medicine is a science, but it’s not exact. They can’t tell you, “if you do this, here is your outcome” because there are no guarantees. They lay it out and talk in terms of “prognosis” or “best practices” and they can make recommendations, but they can’t decide for you. You need to navigate the murky, grey waters and decide for yourselves. This is one time in your life you actually WANT someone to tell you what to do, but the system doesn’t work that way.
The best way to navigate through the grey is education. Research your diagnosis and condition online on reputable sites like WebMD or Livestrong. There is so much information available at your fingertips, so make that effort before you make your decision. I will caution you that, while I recommend being educated, I do not support becoming obsessed. If you find yourself 25 pages and 5 hours into a search, you may be on the downside of the slippery slope into an unhealthy obsession –don’t go there! Get as much information as you can and need to make a reasonable determination to move forward.
Leave the doctoring to the doctor. Related to that point above, it is important to be educated, but realize your doctor is the one that went through medical school and if you don’t have MD, DO, RN, PA or such credentials next to your name, leave the medical practice to the professionals.
I also recommend writing down your options with the pros and cons. Weigh your choices carefully. Prioritize based on what is important to you and what you think is feasible. With health, I find you can’t get too far ahead of yourself- one step at a time. So maybe your first step is another test to get more information or maybe it’s taking a prescribed medication and dose, and then you progress from there. This will read corny, but here it is - the only way out of the grey is to take it day by day!
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