Big Regret

               I caught a show called “Storage Wars” and I have to admit, at first, my reaction was a confused, “what is going on here?” There’s a whole industry that revolves around what happens when people do not pay for their storage lockers, are in default, and the lockers, filled with what appears to be junk, are auctioned off the highest bidder. (Some of those storage units are a mess and it’s always a shock when they find valuable things!) The cast of characters in the show are “the Collector, the Gambler, the Young Gun (and his wife!), and Dave “the Mogul” Hester.” Dave has quite a story. He had a DUI and was sentenced to do community service at a Goodwill store. It is where he learned to price used goods, and that set him on this career path and onto superstardom! I love his story! The best part is, when Dave was asked about his “biggest regret” it wasn’t the DUI or the Goodwill stint (he says, “God works in mysterious ways” –AMEN!). His biggest regret was not getting more education and options. It got me thinking about regret, options, and choices.

                Caregivers have no room in their lives for regret. There can be NO regret. Regret is counter-productive and a waste of energy. It’s living in the past, and we all know the importance of living in the present for a good life. We can never go backward. Frankly, why would we want to do that to ourselves? We have to always move forward.

                I often ask myself if I had not taken on care of Gramps, would I have regret. I never thought that way at the time, consumed by all the details Caregivers must face every day. Now, I have some time to reflect and think these kinds of hypothetical questions. I would like to think I live in the now moment, not in the past, and it is not in my makeup to waste time regretting anything. However, if I had sent Gramps to be cared for elsewhere, I would have worried at that time, and I am sure years later, I would’ve felt bad. Yes, I think I would have had regrets.   

                Thankfully, I made the decisions I made, and although it was hard at the time, Gramps and I did alright. I have no regrets at all. None. There is peace in doing the right thing, making that effort, and being loving and caring. It’s not about being perfect. We all make mistakes, have our off moments, become inpatient – it is okay and to be expected. Caregivers are allowed to be human. No matter what happens on your Caregiver journey, always take the high road and do the best you can. When your journey comes to the end of the road, you will have peace of mind. There will be no need to look backwards. You will have no big regrets.