What Time's The Funeral?

           When my Gramps fell he was in Cleveland Clinic hospital for a while and then discharged to a local rehabilitation. He wasn’t doing very well, but I was faced with a discharge decision to take him home or rehabilitation, so that seemed like the obvious choice. One day, he was sleeping, and I was by his side with our close friend of the family Linda, when Gramps sat up, looked at me, and asked, “What time’s the funeral?” I was so scared, I said, “Grandpa! You’re not DEAD!” He kinda smirked and went back to sleep. Linda cracked up. She told me that he knows he isn’t dead; he was trying to make me laugh! I will never know what went through my Gramps’ mind in that moment, if it was medication or what, but I like Linda’s explanation –he was trying to lighten the mood and make me feel better. That would be a very typical thing my Gramps would do –always thinking about me and others.

                In this day and age, it’s so rare that people put others first and think of other people’s needs and comfort. My grandparents did that all the time. It was ALL about others. Always. My Grandma’s friend tells me that she would be in the area, call over to my grandparents that they were stopping by, and by the time they got to the door, she could smell her favorite foods already in the oven. That’s how it was done! Always have extra food on hand for when friends or family stop by, any time of the day or night, be ready, and make them feel special and welcome. Who does this anymore?

                I think there’s a loss of civility these days and a lack of consideration. My friend and I were going to another friend’s house, so I told him we have to stop at the grocery store first, because “we can’t go with our arms swinging.” He loved that saying! It’s one I heard often from my Grandma, but with her gone, it’s not one I hear anymore. It’s about being thoughtful and about consideration. People don’t seem to have the manners they once did.

I came across an old article in my Grandma’s things and it was from a newspaper in the 40s and it showed her mother with a nice china collection and everything in the article referred to “Mrs.” and dinner parties, and was all very polite and formal. Those days are gone. I am not saying I long for the formality, but I long for consideration and the respect.

Just for today, make extra effort to be considerate of the people around you, whether they are loved family, friends or just people from work or the grocery store. Anyone and everyone you meet. Hold the door open, hold the elevator, say “please and thank you.” Let’s be civilized. Don’t save consideration for the funerals.