King of the Castle

              There’s so much talk these days of “Castle Laws” or “Stand Your Ground Laws” because of the Trayvon Martin death and George Zimmerman case in Jacksonville, FL. Trayvon was a 16-year old un-armed kid killed by George, a neighborhood watch volunteer, that felt his life was in jeopardy and used mortal force. We don’t have all the facts yet, so the outcome of the case is pending trial. However, it has me thinking about how a man’s home is his castle. Gramps was definitely King of his Castle.           

                We had the best setup a Caregiver can hope to have, in that I bought my neighbor’s place so Gramps had the illusion of total independence. When his daughters would visit, they had their own room and bathroom, and everyone was comfortable. My Dad tiled the floors so Gramps could easily maneuver between the bathroom, kitchen, and his bedroom in the wheelchair – all of which were relatively close together which made it easier to navigate.

                Setting up a safe and clean environment for your loved one is so important. It is the place to begin for Caregivers. If you are moving your loved one in with you, there are a number of things and steps you can take to make it more comfortable for everyone.

                Making it easy to get around is important, and removing hallway tables, and things that can obstruct the path is a good idea (and this is something the paramedics told me when they came in once – to remove a hallway table that didn’t need to be there). Finding ways to bring into the home things that are familiar to your loved one is a good idea, but limit it so you don’t bring too much with you and then have clutter. For example, bringing bed linens and pillows helps, and for Gramps we brought his hospital bed into his new bedroom. We painted the room a color that was comfortable and familiar to him, so it felt like home and made for easier transition. We also brought in his dining room set and all the tchotchkes, and framed family photos, from his own home with Grandma before she passed. As far as new items to help Gramps, we bought a recliner that goes to a full upright position to make it easier for him to get in and out of the chair. These are just a few things that worked for us, that may give you some ideas on your own options.

                There are a number of things I would do different as a Caregiver, but one thing I am most proud is how I was able to give my Gramps his own space so he always felt independent. He felt in control in his own home to do as he pleased, and I’d like to think that helped his emotional and mental health, as well as physical well-being.