There’s that word again. I think “courage” may be one of the most overused words in America, and maybe this post is also abusing the word, but this is how I feel. We hear about people having the courage to tell the truth, the courage to leave their marriage, the courage to stop drinking, and so on. John McCain wrote a great book, “Why Courage Matters” and I recommend it. He tells us about war heroes, a man who threw himself on a grenade to save his platoon, and other heroic acts of courage. That is undeniably an example of courage, and self-sacrifice. I believe it takes courage to be a Caregiver. Moral courage.
When I took on care of Gramps, I was terrified. I really thought I could not do it, and I was afraid that one bad decision, or anything I did wrong, would result in Gramps’ death. It would all be my fault. I clearly under-estimated my Gramps’ health and strength, and over-estimated my role in his care. I’ve learned a lot since those days.
First, I am not God and I learned that I have no control over life or death. I think this is one Caregivers should really explore for themselves.
I learned that when courage is paired with faith, it’s a powerful force. Having courage is feeling fear, but taking action anyway. There’s always personal risk involved. Whether you believe in a higher power, and/or believe in your own personal power, faith combined with the courage to take action makes you unstoppable.
There’s a big debate in the news this week because Joe Biden supported gay marriage, and many say President Obama, has not done enough for gay Americans in this regard (and we must remember, there is no more “don’t ask, don’t tell” because of President Obama, so there has been some improvements!). There is talk the President will legalize gay marriage if he is re-elected, but until then, he is playing it safe, and he lacks “moral courage.” I believe, as Dr. King said, “Justice delayed, is justice denied” and I want to live in an America where everyone has the same civil rights.
Before I digress too far, I don’t want to make this into a political statement on gay rights, but I want to explore this thing called “moral courage”, because it’s something Caregivers know all too well. We know it when we see it, and we know when we see someone lacking it. When you do the right thing, and take the high road, even at great personal risk or sacrifice, that is “moral courage.”
It’s not easy to care for another. “Easy” has no part in moral courage. If it were easy, everyone would do it. When it comes to caregiving, it would be easier to look the other way, and hope that someone else makes the effort. I am glad I made the decisions I did, and had the courage to see them through. Caregivers are courageous and I am proud of Caregivers everywhere.
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