Wisdom

                I learned yet another gem from my very wise friend, Peggy, and this one actually comes from Peggy’s mom. It’s a Chinese saying that translates into English as, “I eat more salt than you eat rice.” Asians eat quite a bit of rice, so what her mom is saying is that, because she is so much older, she has consumed more salt over the years, something you wouldn't eat, but use to season food, than the younger person eats rice, a staple in the diet. I love it! Basically, it boils down to respect your elders as they have a lot of experience and wisdom to offer.

                Scientists have shown there is a connection between growing old and gaining wisdom and happiness. A Stanford psychologist, Laura Carstensen, coined the term, “the well-being paradox” to describe how older adults have somewhat diminished body and mind capabilities, but on another level, they have more emotional and social capabilities or “wisdom”. Further, there is a U-shaped graph for happiness in that it’s highest when you are young and old, but that bottom part, the lows, occurs in middle age.

So, I was wondering if it is true that with age comes experience and with experience comes wisdom. Judith Gluck from the “Defining Wisdom Project” did a study that shows age alone is not enough to gain wisdom, but you have to be reflective about your experiences and gain understanding, meaning, you can’t just have an encounter and become wise. If only it were that easy!

So, what is wisdom? I always thought it was having the answers but now I am understanding it’s knowing and asking the questions.

                I learned a lot from my grandparents, and they had such influence over me, that I blog about them often. They shaped me into the person I am today, and I am grateful. I always gained such insight when I would talk through problems with them, and I always felt they were so wise. They had a way of seeing things differently and explaining things to me, particularly about people and why they did what they did. They had such compassion and tolerance.

I think wisdom offers perspective. I wish my grandparents were still around so they can explain to me why some of my family members act the way they do. I often wonder if the relationship challenges I faced, and still face today, will look different to me in 5 years, 10 years, or beyond. Maybe I will have a different understanding about people’s actions. Right now, people are a mystery. Maybe it’s a sign of my age, and it will all make sense some day. Maybe the very fact that I think about relationships, and I ask myself the hard questions, will help me find these answers I seek, and gain wisdom as I grow old. I think another part of growing old is to have the wisdom not to care so much about things that are out of your control.